Rolling Stone Rape Retracts

Rolling Stone took great care in its editorial process after its big frat gang rape on UVA campus story published last November turned out to be a shit pail of unchecked facts. They took slightly less care in deciding to print the article in the first place. Nobody wanted to be last with their scathing sexual assault on campus article. That’d look shitty at your SoHo industry mixers.

The original article by the trice named Sabrina Rubin Erdely told the tale of “Jackie”, a UVA student who was lured into a frat house party by a Freshman, taken upstairs, restrained, and gang raped by seven Greek brothers. It fit ever so perfectly into the hysteria surrounding White House reports that 1 in 1 girls on college campus were being sexually assaulted by millions of dudes who only took the SAT so they could rape amok at the next level. It turned out Jackie was lying about most all if not all of the facts, there was no party that night at the frat house, she didn’t report her assault to a bunch of friends, and the lack of police followup was mostly because nothing had happened in the first place.

Rolling Stone magazine hired the Columbia University School of Journalism to come in and spank the shit out of their crappy editorial standards. The University concluded:

The way the magazine reported, edited and vetted the article is a story of journalistic failure that was avoidable. Failure encompassed reporting, editing, editorial supervision and fact-checking.

Spelling and grammar seemed to be spot on. The author’s article called her completely unprofessional hit piece on the frat house “unfortunate” and the Columbia report to be humbling. Erdley declared she had certainly learned her lesson and that all future fake rape stories would be much better concealed. Rolling Stone editor Will Dana posted a truly heartfelt apology and officially retracted the story. Owners of Rolling Stone declared that neither Dana or lying reporter chick would be fired since who hasn’t published a 10,000 word bogus rape story before. Also because their attorneys likely informed them how admitting your employees are fuck-ups will look in the certain civil trial to come.

In the end, we are left with but a lesson. The rape culture has many victims. If a few back fires have to burn a few innocent guys alive in order to quell the large conflagration, that’s a small price. When you’re under fire for a sexual assault you did not commit, just remind yourself, you’re now part of the solution, not the problem. It’ll give purpose to your ruined life.

Photo credit: Rolling Stone magazine