Randy Quaid Can’t Be Stopped

Canadian exiles and fervent meth addicts Randy and Evi Quaid uploaded a series of sex tapes they made to the Internet. It shows Quaid with a Unabomber beard going down on his wife, then she sucks his dick and they fuck while a dog yaps relentlessly in the background and you cry. They succeed marvelously in making the audience feel dirty but I missed the larger point. This should stand alone as the grossest celebrity sex tape on record until we finally get that footage of Artie Lange crying and fucking a rented watermelon while cutting himself. Assuming that doesn’t exist they’re in the clear.

The videos are a part of the Quaids’ delusional amphetamine fueled belief that they are systematically having their bank accounts drained and being charged with crimes they didn’t commit by the US government and Rupert Murdoch. It’s unclear why the government would have any interest in this or how making a sticky cringeworthy sex tape is a proper response. Like blowing a homeless guy to protest ObamaCare. I’m supposed to say I hope these two get the help they need but I really just want to see how bad this can get. I have some theories on chem trails. Send your encouragement.

Photo Credit: VidMe.com/RandyQuaid