The Secret Service Is Now An 80’s Comedy

Last week a woman drove up to the south entrance of White House, threw a package out of her car and announced it was a bomb. The package was immediately cordoned off and the bomb squad was called. A half hour later two of the highest ranking Secret Service agents in Washington, Mark Connolly and George Ogilvie, showed up drunk to the scene after they’d been partying at a Secret Service party in Chinatown like in the movies. They proceeded to crash their donut filled car through the crime scene tape while jabbing each other with light hearted racial epithets. The car careened through the bomb squad investigation and actually ran over the package or came close, depending on what witnesses you believe and how well they know the keystone cops in question. The on-duty agents wanted to arrest the two because they were wasted but they were allowed to walk away instead of be sent to a black ops sight in Slovakia like you would. The incident should be on TBS soon. I hope they make five of these.

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