Kristen Stewart Lost Something

Kristen Stewart has lost her pizzazz. She used to be that horribly disdainful self-loathing chick who blew the lost boys and ruined other people’s lives. Those wretched angry fucks are unbelievable fodder. Now she’s just another brooding lesbian chick wondering when the ball peen hammers go on sale again at OSH. Boring. They had to use the cartoon effect on her in this magazine just so you’d take a quick glance before you visually bounced. Before you’d stare at her a good five minutes wondering if she was pretty enough that you’d let her rub out her cigarette on your neck in exchange for a hummer. Now, she’s a horn-less unicorn. I think that’s just a horse. Where have all the bad women gone.

Photo Credit: Interview Magazine