Amber Rose Grinds (VIDEO)

I’m not a trained lawyer or skilled in any manner, but I’d still advise anyone going through a custody battle to head down to Trinidad and Tobago for Mardi Gras and start grinding the shit out of strangers on camera. Judges love that shit. Once his honor sees you gyrate that enormous fake ass onto the cocks of random Caribbean men, he’s certain to see how you could translate that into best home for toddler. That’s sexist, it could be a female judge. She’ll appreciate this shit even more.

Fresh off her defense that it was cool to be taking her clothes off for cash at fifteen, Amber Rose’s Fat Tuesday tit show ought to put her over the top against her husband who smokes pot, which according to 1930’s government literature makes black men thrice as rapey as usual. With any good fortune, their kid found his way out of his labradoodle crate and made it to a local fire station.

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