Rosie O’Donnell Quits Everything

Rosie O’Donnell announced she’s ending her latest marriage, saying goodbye to that good looking chick she made an adopted baby with. Rosie’s also leaving The View to focus on taking care of her ten half human, half white rhino infants at her Florida estate. And, finally, she’s shopping for some new Hawaiian shirts at Rochester. So much so fast.

I can confirm that Rosie and her wife Michelle split in November. Rosie has teens and an infant at home that need her attention. This has been a very stressful situation. She is putting her personal health and family first. ABC has been wonderfully understanding and supportive of her personal decision to leave ‘The View.’ Next week will be her last.

You may recall that Rosie O’Donnell suffered a heart attack three year ago from being way too fat for the amount of jet-skiing and sex tourism she undertakes. On the list of successful fat shrill questionably talent lesbians, Rosie still comes in a distant second to Oprah. You’re not catching Oprah, you might as well hole up and let the Borneo slave girls wax your leathery labia until Ra comes to take you as his afterlife bride.

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