Farrah Abraham Keeps Winning Things

Farrah Abraham snagged the hallowed cover of Northern New Jersey’s Metropolis Nights magazine. It’s like covering Vogue, only you don’t have to put one in the stink of Anna Wintour, lick it, and tell her she’s a good witch. Abraham was voted the honor in the magazines poll, Whose Tits Would You Rather See, Teen Mom or Governor Christie? Farrah won by three votes in a unanimous decision. When you think about the discrimination faced by a young woman who gets knocked up in high school then turns to Jesus and anal porn with equal fervor, she’s come a long way. If you don’t consider those things, she’s barely moved.

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