Bruce Jenner, Real American Hero

Hollywood intelligentsia such as they exist are scrambling to praise Bruce Jenner for openly becoming a woman just in time for a new reality show. Forget that decathlon nonsense, transitioning into a chick in your 60’s for co-producer stakes is the way to win hearts and minds in these environs. Piers Morgan admits he’s never met Bruce Jenner but declared him the bravest man in the history of earth. Morgan wrote an entire article. He has the time. Jenner’s secret came out officially last week officially when Kim Kardashian told an interviewer she one-hundred percent supports Jenner transforming into a less fetching Mrs. Doubtfire. She reserved the right to modify her percentages when she finds Kanye banging her stepdad’s plasticine vagina in the hedge row maze. The lone voice of discontent comes from Kris Jenner who has found that sponsoring young black men to savage her dry rot has done little to lessen the pain of knowing she can no longer drive men straight to their grave. First the witch craft goes, then the conjured human form, within days the neighbors are complaining of the stench of pickled fish and burning in their eyes. It’s almost time to sail away with the elves.