Emile Hirsch Gets Pushy

Actor and part time drug hatch Emile Hirsch kind of assaulted female Paramount exec Dani Bernfeld at a nightclub near the Sundance Film Festival in Park City Utah. Police investigated the matter but let Hirsch go because domestic violence remains legal in Utah and Hirsch can do whatever he wants since he’s a nonthreatening midget. According to some chick who won’t be invited back to the festival:

“[He put her in a] chokehold. He attacked her from behind, he completely blindsided her after he’d been shit talking and was already led away from her once.”

You left out the part where you blew him afterwards. If Dwayne Johnson was merely accused of this he’d never work again. You just can’t take Hirsch seriously enough to think he could do any damage since he’s a coked up warlock baby. Whatever happened it was bad enough for Bernfield to call the cops and break up the party. Look for Hirsch to blow off rehab and secure some major film roles. Maybe twenty years from now he’ll be mentioned alongside Bill Cosby. For now it’s smooth sailing, lots of Ativan, and more of these cute little kerfuffles.

Photo Credit: Getty Images