The Haunting Patrick Schwarzenegger Tattoo

I lost track of Miley Cyrus’ tits like ten tits ago. But that Arnold Maria crucifix tattoo on the side of Patrick Schwarzenegger continues to vex me. When you’re a celebrity kid who sort of acts and attends ‘some USC’, your main job is not to get DUIs or stupid fucking tattoos. Nobody ever listens. Getting the first names of your cheating divorced parents crossworded into the sign of the cross on your body seems pretty horrible. It might just eclipse the matching NSFW tattoos you and your girlfriend keep telling the press you got etched on your respective penises. If I was Maria Shriver, every time I saw that tattoo on my son, I’d think about my husband fucking a baby into the chubby cleaning lady. If I were Arnold, I’d think about fucking Miley in the ass in front of my son and making him cry. That’s just how I’d think. If somebody is Catholic and this makes sense on some liturgical level, write me a foul message and tell me how the murderous albino monk is coming for me. I’m ready to die. I’ve seen Cats.

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