Taylor Swift Is Good Wool

Taylor Swift is on vacation in Maui with three reasonably hot chicks that she paid to come along with so she’d look normal. I really thought this only happened in the movies. It’s not clear at which point some grizzly guy with a machete will start offing them one by one once they accidentally stumble into a cave. I hope they can avoid the situation but the stats don’t lie. God I bet they tried those bathing suits on in front of each other whilst giggling. Swift obviously told the girls they’d have to share the suite because it was the last room in the house before breaking out the black Sharpie. That faked phone call is getting me all hot and bothered. It’s the slow season. These young women are thirty margaritas and a Skinemax away from the best thing that’s ever happened to them. How much are tickets, it’s worth a shot in the dark. What happens in Maui stays in the 808. Spread ’em.

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