Tara Reid Raises Questions

Tara Reid occupies an interesting space in the male psyche. You remember her fondly from those American Pie films yet she’s done a ton of weird shit to her body and now has a creepy cruise ship chick vibe. Curiously her face still looks the same and this poses another series of questions: Would she be your Dream Weaver if she didn’t have a catheter sticking out of her navel? Do you throw the baby out with the bathwater? Given the opportunity would you date her or just bang her for a period of a few weeks to up your self esteem? During this fling would you bring her around your friends or sneak up to her condo for 2 a.m. trysts? Would you keep the lights on or attempt to dim them strategically so as to obscure any scars or sutures?

At this point in her life I’ve relegated Reid firmly to a category called Vacation Hot. If you’re barhopping in Palm Springs for the weekend she’s an ideal snag. You’re liquored up anyway and not having breakfast. A little hot tub, some hanky panky, and man, the guys and me have to hit the road. Sure it’s awkward when you see her at the bar the following night but you’re both knee deep in your next anonymous suck fest so shrug it off. A few months from then your friend will say “What was that one chick’s name again?” Uh. Tara. That’s it. Wasn’t she the chick from American Pie?

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