Taylor Swift Pays the Bills (VIDEO)

Nothing really compares to the pure joy of watching a chick way too old to be a Taylor Swift fan crying because Taylor sent her $1900 to pay off her student loans. Right off the bat, if you’re burdened by $1900 in student loans that indicates ‘some junior college’. $1900 buys you three days at Harvard, and that’s without a tour of all the nearby spots where Mark Wahlberg used to club the foreign born. The out of work journalism majors from Syracuse are going to toss their $50k debt notes at you and laugh you out of their Occupy Wall Street reunions. Really, you couldn’t maybe find a way to raise $1900. I don’t know, maybe a job. Or suffocating a great aunt or something.

I blame mom for filming this. We live in an era when everybody wants their kids’ most base accomplishments splashed all over social media. You’re aware the LIKES might be coming with a muttering of ‘I feel sorry for Barb and her retard daughter’, but still, it’s adulation. In this instance, mom needs to assess the situation a tad bit deeper. This kind of legacy video content doesn’t go away. Let me see, do I want to hire you, Rebekah? I see here you’re an avid Taylor Swift fan who tweets saccharine praise and horrid poetry eighty-nine times a day. Also, oh, here’s you weeping like a baby child when Taylor’s PR firm sent you cash and gifts to shut the fuck up. Welcome to McDonald’s! Grab a plastic apron, I’d expect you’ll be here a while.