Vanessa Bryant Overcompensates

Kobe Bryant’s wife takes great pride in her yearly Christmas Card. So much so she bought a designer $6,500 dollar dress for the occasion. Vanessa is an ex hip hop video dancer and unaware everyone receiving this rolls their eyes at the transparency. Although half her floozy friends are still jealous. Particularly the ones not allowed at the house, but also the ones who can come over for parties but have to de-louse themselves before sitting on the sectional.

Look how perfect my life is! Sure my husband plowed a hotel concierge assistant in the ass against her will and got rid of the case with the down payment money for our house in Burgundy. And I stayed married to him. After he bought me a $4 million dollar ring. Sure I negotiated a divorce a few years back in which I would keep all of our houses and then suddenly relented. Yes, I now have a more comfortable allowance. Does it matter my husband is a psycho dork robot? No. Money can buy feelings. And super fucking awesome dresses. Ebola victims can dream of me as they pass into a better life.

Photo Credit: Instagram