Billy Corgan Claims Awesome By Association

Former Smashing Pumpkins frontman and current guy who has to tells chicks in bars who he is, Billy Corgan went on Howard Stern and talked a ton of shit about bands that are still bands like Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. In a shrewd but ultimately transparent move, Corgan lumped himself in with dead rock legend Kurt Cobain when talking shit about Pearl Jam:

“I think if you stack my songs up, Cobain’s songs up, and that band’s songs, they just don’t have the songs.”

Since Cobain is untouchable in the realm of rock lore, you could stack his songs up with the guy who plays the xylophone at the State Fair and they’d still win. After bitching about how Eddie Vedder doesn’t return his calls, Corgan took a pot shot at Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters:

“Dave is a great musician, a great songwriter and has done the work, but to me, my criticism of the Foo Fighters, if I’m being a music critic, is that they just haven’t evolved…”

Clearly the Foo Fighters should follow the evolutionary path of the Smashing Pumpkins and break up because their front man tantrums like a middle school girl for whom puberty isn’t going so well. Then they should cry in the parking lot and wonder where it all went wrong. Or, they could just be one of the top grossing bands in the world year in and year out like the Foo Fighters who for all their lack of evolution seem to be extremely successful. Failing that, just be a fucking hater on Stern then go grab a tofutti bar and suck until the self-loathing goes away.

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