Halle Berry Hair Fight

Halle Berry and her intermittently employed model ex husband Gabriel Aubry have been feuding in court about their daughter’s hair because they are both fucked up and deranged narcissists. Berry had claimed Aubry was bleaching the girl’s hair to make her appear more white. Aubry denied the allegation because he is a liar or possibly because his English is limited and he thought she was saying he liked his ass plundered during sex. Instead of shrugging this off so they could discuss the fact the kid can’t read, Berry brought the issue to court where a judge told them both to leave the girl’s hair the fuck alone.

Berry sent her daughter’s hairbrush to a forensic consulting lab that reported back what Berry wrote for them to say, the girl’s hair suffered from:

“Extensive damage … likely the cumulative effect of repeated exposure to numerous gentle bleaching treatments.”

Whether or not the girl’s hair has been bleached or she likes to go swimming in the creek near where Karen Silkwood worked, you need to keep your crazy shit to yourself. You’re bogging down the court system. Quit sending her hair away in specimen kits and maybe order the nanny to read her Goodnight Moon in Spanglish. Yes, by educating her you will expedite the timeline by which she will discover her bio parents are annoying twats, but her hating you is the closest you’ll ever come to feeling like norma parents.

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