Dwight Howard’s Dick Gets Good Press

Dwight Howard is mostly known for acting like a bitch on the court, fathering bastard children, hooking up with underaged chicks, and beating his kid with a belt because it’s tradition. Its about time someone sung his praises, even if the positive reinforcement is coming from a washed up porn star. TMZ bothered Marey Carey at LAX where she was no doubt shocked to be recognized by people not soliciting companionship for the evening. She informed them of some details about Howard’s ample sized hogan:

“I’ve seen it before, and it was really big. [It was the biggest] that I’ve seen.”

This is a ringing endorsement from a chick who has seen enough dick to wrap around the equator. Howard’s behavior now makes a lot more sense. You’d be a walking scourge on society too if you were rocking a Guinness Book piece. There’s no allegation you can’t circumvent by showing off your massive unit. Female judges will hate their husbands and male jurists will worry if they sentence you the rest of the world will assume you have penis size envy. I’d wear that shlong outside my pants and continuing beating the crap out of whomever I wanted. It’s your Chinatown. The authorities are defenseless.

Photo Credit: Twitter