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November 5, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
Today I’m drowning my electoral dismay in the tits of famous people. I can’t use my vote to raise Braveheart from the ashes and take on Ebola, so I’m going to stare at women without bras on until I no longer care. I could go with whiskey, but I did that last election cycle and I just ended up six weeks later at the local Planned Parenthood with a girl I barely knew putting down my Discover card on an Early Bird Special. I thought we got balloons. We got no balloons.
Joanna Krupa has fought off some nasty professional escort background rumors by prostituting herself on Bravo! reality shows and walking around town without undergarments. I might have chosen a different image rehab plan of attack. Maybe write a book on being a working mother. Nobody really even bothers to check if you have a kid. Just pen a few chapters about the craziness of nursing at work and trying to look your best when you’re exhausted and you’ll be a modern day Elizabeth Cady Stanton. I guess showing off your tits is easier. At least you’ll know people weren’t just pretending to look like they would be with your book.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI