Farrah Abraham Mint in Box Vagina

Farrah Abraham continues to keep her promise to never do porn again. She’s employed stripping, lap dancing and hawking latex replicas of her pussy and ass as a nicotine patch to wean her off the need for adult cinema. It’s all about being a woman that your daughter can respect. Like Jessica Alba with her Honest company, though instead of selling trendy diapers to white vaccine deniers, Farrah is promoting her bottomless gunt for awkward men to pound between writing letters to their prison wives or proposing bills in Congress. You have to drop many rungs down the ladder of mating success to pay for fake vaginas when you can pay for real vaginas. It might be slightly safe, but Vietnamese girls in denim minis won’t subject you to a built-in voice box urging you to purchase MTV Teen Mom boxed DVD sets. Though that whore technology is only months away.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI