Dr. Oz Study Wasn’t Super Fact Checked

A study Dr Oz quoted mercilessly about green coffee beans being a magical weight loss cure has been shockingly debunked. The study’s authors based at the prestigious University of Scranton have got some explaining to do:

“The sponsors of the study cannot assure the validity of the data so we, Joe Vinson and Bryan Burnham, are retracting the paper.”

That’s a polite way of admitting everyone knows you are full of shit and you don’t get to pretend to do experiments anymore. The pair will probably be put on a much needed leave of absence soon so they can decompress after those tough hours of making up data while watching Family Guy and getting super high. The kickback money they made pulling the heart strings of fat people will probably soon run out, at which point one they’ll be free to start selling time shares in Ocala or just wander the streets with a metal detector. Roll with the punches. Dr. Oz will skate, but these dudes should thank him for abiding by the huckster code of having each other’s backs and pleasuring Oprah with jams and cunnilingus as needed.

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