Khloe Kardashian’s Real Father Revealed

In an explosive new piece of stunningly unsourced journalism, In Touch Magazine is reporting that Lionel Richie might be Khloe Kardashian’s real father. Their evidence? Kris Jenner fucked a lot of rich black dudes back in the 80’s while she was not fucking her husband Dead Robert Kardashian. The In Touch source says one of those midday lays was Lionel Richie. And Khloe Kardashian looks like Lionnel Richie’s bio daughter Sofia. Ergo, Lionel Richie is Khloe’s real dad. I’m not buying it. All I’m seeing is ergo Kris Jenner has forever been a scheming beast with a vagina. The evidence linking Lionel Richie to paternity is identical to what idiots like myself have been using to claim O.J. is the unholy chunk monkey’s real father. This is like Star Wars, but with ambitious money grubbing vacuous whores in the place of galactic rebels and imperialists. So actually just a little bit better.

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