Phoebe Price Should Be Shawshanked

I consider myself pretty big on the civil rights front, but this Phoebe Price chick needs to be hauled off to an island prison and trapped behind an iron mask until she figure out how to carve her escape route using only her nipples and determination. I don’t mind her decade long attempt to flash her ass in public, but you can’t take that shit to the kids pumpkin patch. The patch is sacred ground. It’s where children learn the valuable lesson that you can only keep what you can carry, unless you’re a girl and you cry. You can’t have an attention whore in a fuck me I’m a skeleton costume roaming the pumpkin patch while she’s in between dances at the local Shriners clubhouse. Children don’t need to introduced to sex at any early age. They need 20-cent pumpkins for fifteen dollars to carve and grow hairy dangerous mold in their homes a solid week before the 31st. Outside of drunken divorcees in sexy cat costumes, Halloween is a time we reserve just for children and satanists and pagans.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI