I Wouldn’t Have Told the Stephen Collins Baby Peen Story

There comes a point in every nasty divorce case when you have to know you’ve told one horrible spouse story too many. The villainously named Faye Grant leaked an email she wrote to her husband claiming he confessed to her before the birth of their daughter that he was glad they were having a girl, because if it were a boy, he’s didn’t know if he could resist sucking his little baby boy dick.

“I should have followed my gut then, and then again 14 years ago, and kicked your ass to the curb.”

I know deep down in your wretched alimony shakedown heart you think releasing this email makes your grossly disturbed husband look like Satan and you the victim, but it doesn’t. I mean, yes, to the first part. You stayed married to a guy who said he’d have a hard time resisting baby peen? And his confessions to you he was molesting girl scouts should bake a while until such time as your marital asset splits discussion arose? Both of you need a submersion bath in rotting Ebola corpse parts. A few weeks after that we can use the old Salem trick of determining which one of you is worse by who God makes bleeds more profusely through the eye sockets.

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