Ben Affleck Defender of All Things Holy

I bet it sucks to be Muslim these days knowing other Muslims are beheading journalists and mowing down women with machine guns in the name of your same Holy One. Especially in the modern digital world where every bit of news is universally available. It was probably easier being Catholic during the Inquisitions when you could ignore all the bone stretching in the name of Jesus. You could earnestly say shit like, no, I actually have no fucking clue who Juan de Torquemada is. The nearest torture church is like seven days walk from here.

Ben Affleck tried to earn Brentwood points on the last episode of Bill Maher’s HBO show by calling Maher and his panelist out for being racist for suggesting Muslims seem to like to behead people and blow up pizza parlors. Bill Maher despises organized religion generally both for valid intellectual reasons and because it can get in the way of his banging an endless line of young models without feeling guilty. Maher is right in that almost the entire set of suicidal whack jobs are Muslims killing on the Imam’s orders. Ben Affleck is right in that 99% of Muslims will never slice off anyone’s head while praising Allah. You have to be careful about painting with a broad brush. Unless you’re looking to get your work done on time. People with tiny brushes tend to be super annoying picayunes about to ruin the Batman franchise with their man nipple suits.

Photo credit: HBO