The Situation Must Remain Sober

The judge in Mike Sorrentino’s tax evasion case has ordered him to be subjected to regular testing for drugs and alcohol while out on bail. This seems odd given the charges are for tax evasion. Maybe the judge figures he should do his best to curtain a gonorrhea outbreak due to what would otherwise be The Situation’s pre-incarceration drunken fuckfest. Maybe he just wants to make sure The Situation has no fun for a few months before his highly paid attorneys come in and rape the justice system. It’d be more effective if he just ordered The Situation subject to beatings and possible twitchy fingered snipers while out on bail. If they covered that in a reality show, I’d watch. My interests in reality TV voyeurism are pretty minimal, but watching The Situation slowly bleed over the course of a season, I’d DVR that.

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