Daphne Joy Seems At Peace

There were two seminal moments in any woman’s life. First, when her big fake tits come out looking pretty nice. You go in with so much hope, but there’s always that Tori Spelling nightmare picture freaking out the back of your mind. The second is when 50 Cent acknowledges that he’s your baby daddy. Not just because he’s worth $250 million, though mostly entirely that. Last summer, 50 Cent trashed Daphne Joy’s L.A. apartment. I’m going to detective that as the Billy Jean moment. This past January, 50 told the whole world the kid was his and started bragging about how amazing his little son was. You know, like dad’s do after their lawyers inform them paternity tests came back positive and there’s no worming out of child support payments. Modern science really has not been good to rappers.

Daphne Joy seems content now. As does any exotic model knowing that she can get fat now and her son is still set for private school tuition through 2030. You can air all the smart financial planning commercials you want, the savvy girls know they’ve yet to invent a retirement plan better than having a rich man’s baby. I’m pretty sure Emma Watson said something like that over the weekend in her U.N. address.

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