Charlie Sheen Has an Inkling

Charlie Sheen wants to return to Two And A Half Men as his former character who was killed off after Sheen left the show due to cocaine and later on, even more cocaine. Before being fired, Sheen blasted the show as being contrite and dull, which led the producers to hire Ashton Kutcher as Sheen’s replacement to keep the winning formula. Sheen’s probably too proud to admit it, but he probably misses his ten hours a week of reciting stale jokes for an eight figure payday:

“I just want to do it classy. I want to do it in a way that still services what the show is today, and also honors what it was when I was there. Who knows? I’m sure they are over there right now, pen to paper, trying to figure something out… It’s a pretty smart group over there and I’m sure they will figure something. Something that makes sense to everyone.”

Children of famous actors have it pretty good. When you wake up from your drug induced stupor on your solid teak floor, there’s always work on one of the dozens of pro forma sitcoms clouding the airways to distract viewers from their backwards mortgage. Sheen wants to do this like I want to walk down to the corner store and scratch off a $10,000 winning ticket. The difference is I don’t know which ticket is the winner, while Sheen’s is always in his back pocket next to a 5 gram crack rock.

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