3 Boobed Woman Lied to America!

Among the great myths of our time, the multi-orgasming male, the $29.95 DirecTV bill, and the genuinely concerned politician, you can add the three-titted woman. Jasmine Tridevil and her tri-chested freak show were outed today as pure prosthetics. Apparently, Tridevil’s bag got stolen off the conveyor belt at the Tampa Airport. I know, I didn’t know Tampa had an airport either. She filed a police report to get her stolen shit back and noted a very expensive three-breast prostheses. Oops. That’s like Harry Houdini filing a claim for a submersion tank with a false bottom trick trap door that allows for oxygen. Couldn’t she merely have written, three humped rubbed baby bumper, $5K.

Now we know Jasmine Tridevil isn’t really even her given name. Loathsome harlot of mistruths! It’s Alisha Hessler, who became infamous in Florida last year for making some dude who groped and punched her outside a bar wear a dunce hat on the street corner rather than be prosecuted. This story could not possibly be any more Florida if it had an oversized orange on its head and it was cold calling Jewish seniors to sell them shoddy timeshares in Boca.