Martha Stewart Pops Gwyneth Paltrow Right in the Bitch Parts

Martha Stewart recently took the time to talk shit about a bunch of people before strapping on a fake smile to boil some butter in more butter. Stewart slammed Gwyneth Paltrow for stepping onto her turf and profiting from the advertising of a sterile material based lifestyle that will drive away men. This is probably a sign of Paltrow’s perceived weakness in The Hamptons and related territories. You’d never move on a Paltrow at full strength.

“She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”

To suggest Gwyneth Paltrow lacks confidence is like suggesting the devil lacks cunning. More than likely Paltrow just saw an opportunity to make shit loads of money selling crap to empty nesters. That doesn’t make you a Martha Stewart biter, it just proves Kabbalah is better than golf for business connections. I’ve got Paltrow in this fight. Mostly just because she frightens me more than Martha Stewart. When Gwyneth surveys the battlefield all bloodied and gored, I want her to know I chose to stand with the properly moisturized side.

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