The NFL Shakes Down Pop Music

The NFL has asked their next Super Bowl halftime performers to pay the NFL for the right to perform. They want either a mafia-like ‘voluntary contribution’ or a portion of the artists touring revenue immediately following the show. The NFL has never paid their performers because most musicians will trade dignity for promotion in a lifelong quest to garner as much fame as possible before dying unhappy. Plus you can help yourself to the shrimp platters backstage and there’s more where that came from.

The final choices for the coming Super Bowl are reportedly Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Coldplay. While those are super fucking popular music artists, they don’t get an audience of 112 million to their shows. Katy Perry might if she flashed her tits, but with clothes on she gets about 15,000 per venue. I don’t blame the Super Bowl for acting like the hot administrative assistant in the office who can audition the C-level executives for who wants her ass discreetly on the side the most. Who’s going to bring me the Hermes scarf and the Mercedes lease, boys? The Super Bowl always wins.

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