War Machine Doesn’t Process His Feelings Well

It appears War Machine caught porn star girlfriend Christy Mack fucking another dude before he beat the living shit out of her. War Machine is now a fugitive but tweeted some weird shit to Mack from his bunker which suggests that relationships between ex-cons and porn stars can be trying at best:

I only wish that man hadn’t been there and that Christy & I would behappily engaged.I don’t know y I’m so cursed.One day truth will come out.

I love you and hope you’re okay. I came him early to surprise you and help you set up for your convention. I can’t believe what I found and can’t believe what happened… All I wanted was to surprise you and help and do something nice…now this… I’m so heart broken…in all ways. I will always love you.

It’s possible he caught her performing a voodoo seance which conflicted with his Christian values, but more than likely Mack was getting plowed by the mailman. Given his ten million arrests and imprisonments for violent outbursts, it’s also possible War Machine is a horse juice fueled lunatic who thinks there are times when beating a woman half to death is appropriate. I don’t think there are, but if you had to pick a time that might be it. If you are with a guy named War Machine and have somebody else’s dick inside you when he gets back early from Home Depot, some shit might go down. If I worked for ESPN, I would now be suspended.

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