Iggy Azalea’s Big Fake Ass Is Corrupting America

It’s the job of old people to tell young people how they no longer work hard for shit they want. Back in my day if a girl wanted a bubble ass, she had to fly to Guadalajara and pay a veterinarian 10,000,000 pesos or eleven dollars to pour QUIKRETE® into open flaps on her ass while the Santeria priestess beat you about the face with a strangled capon. Now you can slip into a doctor’s office in Beverly Hills masked as a LensCrafters and have highly soluble strained animal fat injected below your gluteal muscles. In and out in thirty minutes. It’s like the auto-tuning of music, only more important, because this is lady ass. Everybody wants to be famous fast and without having to fellate the proper chain of command. This perversion of the natural ass order will eventually blow up, and when it does, it’s going to smell a lot like pork sausage.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, INFphoto.com