Miley Cyrus Is Good to Her Fans

Miley Cyrus now lets fans taste her tongue and grab her tits before and after her concert performances. In fact, you don’t need to attend the concert at all. You just hold your fifty bucks out in your hand in the private queue marked ‘Cheeses and Misc.’ out behind the theater until your number is called. I think it’s fucking genius. Why ignore a large swatch of the consumer audience whose sole interest in you is as a gender neutral portable fuck toy? Not only is that demographic loyal, they spend the entirety of their life savings pursuing their interests. Critics are calling Miley all sorts of bad names for her new hands-on services and wondering what Billy Ray must think of his daughter. You can ask him yourself. He’s running the Cheeses and Misc. line out back.

Photo Credit: Splash