Music Protests R Kelly

Two Ohio based bands have dropped out of The Fashion Meets Music Festival because one of the Festival headliners is underaged girl loving R Kelly. Saintseneca, a band as preachy as their new aged name, thought better than to share billing with Kelly:

“We feel it is an affront to all survivors, who are already often overlooked and forgotten in our society.”

Pop musicians aren’t usually considered super bright, but apparently Saintseneca are the only ones reading the paper rather than getting their news of the world from celebrity Twitter feeds. Kelly has avoided industry backlash while documented cases of his aversion to pubic hair pile up like the stash of candy he passes out to chicks in the Target girls section. Boycotts are a slippery slope. Taking a stand against Kelly’s pederasty could lead one to boycott the entire Fashion Meets Music Festival, since the fashion industry is largely comprised of Russian waifs sold into slavery by their stepdads in exchange for charcoal and cigarettes. You might have to cancel this entire tour. The blindsided kids will probably turn to drug experimentation and non-premium cable. Still, I’d rather say I spent the summer getting high and watching Cartoon Network than watching R. Kelly clean his dick on my 8th grade yearbook.

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