Bella Hadid Arrested For DUI

Being seventeen and blowing a .14 at 4:00am is not a good set of numbers. Naturally, this teen model kid of the Real Housewives chick couldn’t have been driving in the first place since her license was previously suspended. A suspended license renders all your combustion engine options toit, like an electro-magnetic pulse blast. Just like having no license at all, or no insurance, or being geographically confused which is the new term the L.A. Times is using for illegals. I don’t blame any kid whose mom is one of these reality TV mutton heads for drinking heavily. I drank as a teen simply because I couldn’t get laid. I’m guessing Bella Hadid has no problem getting laid. But having self-absorbed shitty parents is probably just as bad, for girls.

Look, sweetheart. Drink, have unprotected sex with older men who seem to understand you, ride the waves in Malibu at midnight on ecstasy. I get that you can have a Range Rover and still be unhappy. Just call Uber and tell them your mom’s a reality whore. They’ll come for you wherever you are. If you kill somebody drunk driving, then you’ll be the asshole you’re drinking to forget.

Photo Credit: Bella Hadid/Instagram