Lady Gaga’s Nipple Eludes TSA

In this era of planes dropping out of the sky, this contraband smuggling shit was supposed to be under control. But there’s Lady Gaga flaunting her TSA unscreened nipple in an Instagram selfie. What else could she get on that plane? The fat chick she makes sleep with her in her bed? A baker’s dozen of gay Romanian backup dancers in the overhead? This is a massive breach of something. I know at sixteen bucks an hour nobody’s volunteering to go glove deep up swamp thing’s lower GI tract, but she fits the profile of exactly who the Muslim male profiling apologists insist is the real secret threat. White female with bottoming out album sales. If you want to live, kick out the over-wing exits, blow into your life vest and jump.