Rosie O’Donnell Rejoins The View As Lesbian in Residence

When The View said they were going to boldly remake themselves, they weren’t kidding. Step one, bring back the loud-mouth jelly puddle you fired previously for being mentally unstable. Rosie O’Donnell has swallowed her pride for the right amount of cash and agreed to rejoin the show where stupid women talk stupidly about stupid things for a stupid female audience so they can write stupid things on Facebook about what they believe to be true. I think that’s the official log line from the network. With Whoopi still on the cast, and Rosie joining, the producers of The View are now looking to find a Latina and a conservative to fill out America’s dumbest coffee klatch. Wary black, angry lesbian, feisty Latina, and blond conservative. That’s literally the plan at ABC. A cheap demographic outline for success. If we were immortal, life would still be too short to watch The View.