Kim Kardashian’s Blond Hair Was Just a Wig, But Her Tits Are Still Real, Right?

Every time Kim Kardashian changes hairstyle, a collective sexual moan emanates from the E! offices down the street. It’s a very primal response for the minions living off her tits. When Kim changes hair color, Jesus, there hasn’t been such an audible bukkake since the last time Chelsea Handler was cruising executive row trying to launch her talk show. Kim shared a picture of herself with blond hair the other night and the Internet went crazy, especially Dubai IP addresses where bidding for a night lightly to moderately beating Kim climbed to 2 million barrels of oil. Alas, it turns out the new blond do was just a wig! ‘Oh, Fuck Me, Black Celebrity Jesus!’ screamed Kris Jenner who was halfway through bleaching her hair and merkin to match her daughter in her creepy stalker chameleon routine. Kim’s smallest decisions have big consequences for dumb people everywhere.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, INFphoto, FameFlynet