Rihanna And Charlie Sheen Aren’t Friends

Charlie Sheen still believes that he’s one of the most important people in the world, so if he walks into a restaurant and sees another celebrity that his fiancée, Brett Rossi, wants to meet, that celebrity better fucking comply, or else he will let them feel his wrath. Rihanna was the latest example last week, because even though Charlie claimed he had no clue who Rihanna was at the time, he “sent a request” to her table for a meeting, because that’s what his latest future ex-wife wanted for her birthday. Rihanna declined and the rest is one ridiculous twitter rant for the ages.

so,
I took my gal out to dinner
last night with her best
friends for her Bday.
we heard Rihanna was present as well.
I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé
Scotty to her, as she is a
huge fan.

(personally I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint)

well, the word we received back was that there were too
many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.

At this time? AT THIS TIME??
lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random
11 million to 1 encounter
with her some other night…?

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and
“please kill me now”
that I’d never get back.

My Gal, however,
was NOT OK with it.
Nice impression you
left behind, Bday or not.
Sorry we’re not KOOL enough
to warrant a blessing from
the Princess.
(or in this case
the Village idiot)

you see THIS is the reason
that I ALWAYS take the time.
THIS is why I’m in this thing
31 awesome years.
Good will and
common courtesy, carefully
established over time to exist radically in concert
with a code of gratitude!

I guess “Talk That Talk”
was just a big ol lie from
a big ol liar.

oh and Riahnna,
Halloween isn’t for a while.
but good on you for testing out your costume in public.
it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer,
as in:
none.

See ya on the way down,
(we always do)
and actually,
it was a pleasure NOT
meeting you.
clearly we have NOTHING
in common when it comes
to respect for those who’ve
gone before you.
I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds
to situate that bad wig
before you left the restaurant.

Here’s a tip from a real vet
of this terrain;
If ya don’t wanna get bothered
DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!
and if this “Prison of Fame”
is soooooooo unnerving and
difficult, then QUIT, junior!
c
#Hamateur

Rihanna eventually tweeted, “If that old queen don’t get ha diapers out of a bunch…” which people have indicated was directed at Charlie, but I gave up trying to follow along when the guy complaining about the girl who wouldn’t say hi to him claimed it would have been like “chugging draino” to him. It’s nice to see that Charlie hasn’t changed much in the last two years.

Photo Credit: Rihanna’s Twitter