Jennifer Lawrence Sure Does Fall A Lot

When I was a kid there’d be the occasional lady in the neighborhood who took a spill at public events and my mom would whisper to some other woman the word ‘drunk’. Then the klatch would nod knowingly and telephone game it around until that unbalanced woman would have to move away or maybe they killed her and dumped her in the Stepford River. You didn’t ask lots of questions back then. Not if you wanted ice cream for dessert. Jennifer Lawrence nearly took yet another tumble at the X-Men premiere. She got grabbed by two assistants who just happened to be waiting in the wings. I guess everybody but me is too polite to whisper ‘drunk’. Jennifer says she’s happy and getting married to her own secretly cross-dressing handsome British actor, but is she really? Whenever I see an attractive young woman in obvious trouble like Jennifer I think to myself, man, I hope she gets so fucked up she forgets to wear panties the next time she face plants.

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