Rihanna’s Instagram Shutdown For Too Much Titty

If there’s one thing Mark Zuckerberg can’t abide it’s nipples. Big old ripe areola on the ends of female breasts. It drives him into an Aspy billionaire panic. He so much as a sees a nipple, and he starts batch emailing the private records of hundreds of millions of his users to the NSA with a short note, ‘Internment camps? I won’t tell’. You can get away with a lot of vicious scummy self-destructive behavior on Facebook and Instagram, but you show a nipple and you are gone. Instagram warned Rihanna to cut back on the titty flashing pics, she posted more, and they put her account on hold. Then, they remembered she was Rihanna and restored it and pretended like nothing happened:

Yesterday, we briefly disabled the account by mistake and restored it quickly. I can confirm that we have not deleted the account subsequently,” Alison Schumer of Instagram’s public relations team.

Well, Alison, we all have to pay the rent so I can’t fault you for being the shill they made lie. Remember, when you meet Zuckerberg at the annual employee’s picnic, soft handshakes bad. Also, wear a padded bra.

Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram