Mom, Sean and I Are in Love

When I close my eyes and imagine hell, I picture Lucifer cackling while Sean Penn insists on taking me as his date to a Chelsea Handler live performance. But for Charlize Theron, the world’s best looking woman with low self esteem, she got all dolled up and even brought along her mom. What better way to introduce your family to the belligerent, violent, self-righteous drunk you’ve proudly selected from the over 500 million men with real jobs who would gladly date you. Mom probably felt about the same as she did a couple years ago when Charlize said she didn’t need a man and went off in a Jeep to steal a cute black baby for her own. Being a parent seems like a rough occupation. At least you can mask your tears in the uproarious laughter of a Chelsea Handler comedic routine. Or just imagine being Chelsea’s mom and realize you don’t have it so bad.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI