Irina Shayk Seems Body Sure

I never stood a chance as a professional model. It’s not simply my lack of anything close to good looks that thwarted my advancement in the modeling arts. Or even my fear or having my hairless ball sac caressed by a series of concerned pederasts up and down the modeling food chain. It’s changing in public. I still don’t like that. Even dressing rooms at Target make me nervous, and not just because illegal immigrant families often use them as temporary housing when they first arrive in America. I don’t like being half undressed in public spaces. The girl in the Crash Test Dummies song seems socially adjusted compared to me. Irina Shayk probably has had people telling her how beautiful she looks naked since she was nine. I can only imagine the confidence that gives you as an adult. This is a teachable moment for why we need to keep shaming fat kids and giving unmerited good grades to pretty girls.

Photo Credit: Splash