Khloe Kardashian Is Not Currently Screwing Her Brother

Big boned Kardashian sister Khloe made it clear that she is not having sex with her brother Rob. She made this revelation while she was guest hosting Chelsea Handler’s horribly canned laugh track funny funny show. She and Rob are currently living together because Rob also likes to eat to fill the empty space where a normal human mother’s love would be. During her unfunny monologue, she brought up the subject of her deadbeat bro and cleared up a rumor she just made up by saying,

“However, most people know me as the sister of fashion icon and sock tycoon Rob Kardashian. Rob’s been on my mind a lot lately because we’re currently living together. And no, we’re not sexually involved — my brother’s not nearly black enough for me!”

I’m going to guess the writing room at Chelsea is something akin to the girls at Curves meeting up with their gay BFFs for appletinis after pushing their hearts to the limit at 90 bpm. E! is an incestuous shop so it’s not surprising they went with incest as a super hilarious bit for the sad clown to read off the teleprompter. And then throwing on the racial bit was tres hilarious. Here’s what’s funny. Rob is probably one negative comment away from a self-pity stab at his neck with a sharp object to end the pain. Khloe spends her days like a twelve-year old on Twitter spiraling between lovelorn mania and bitter depression. The entire family has been fucked up their large asses by their mother’s blind stage ambition for fame and fortune at the cost of her mildly retarded children’s health and well-being. The lucky one was Robert Sr. who had the innate sense to die young just to escape his particular circle of Hell. How about mouthing reading that off the prompter, Khloe? The producers can pump up the laugh track to cover the sounds of air escaping the various orifices of the rotund monkeys clapping in the sound stage bleachers.