Backdoor Teen Mom Is Doing the Lord’s Work

Despite the high mortality rate among MTV reality show participants, it turns out they’re all martyrs in a just social cause. A new study by college economists who had nothing better to study shows that MTV’s Teen Mom show has helped expedite the decline in teen pregnancy rates in the U.S.. It turns out that showing a bunch of loose teen girls other horrific looking fat and stretched out broke-ass imprisoned teen baby mamas makes them want to get on the pill or go lesbian or tell their science teacher to start taking them unprotected in the ass to be super safe. Teen Mom is like young drivers watching Red Asphalt and deciding maybe they should drive more carefully. These impressionable young girls are thinking, yes, spreading my legs does make me feel wanted and special and loved like I am not at home, but do I really want to hiking a football through my porn-torn ass at 21 to turn a buck? Sorry, Varsity Men’s Basketball team, Jane the Train is staying home tonight.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News