Cameron Diaz Promotes Her Pubes

Cameron Diaz waxes rhapsodic about her hairy bush in her newly released health tome The Body Book. In a section called, “In Praise of Pubes”, the star discusses the trend among modern ladies of lasering off their muffs. Diaz says that she thinks that the idea of permanently removing off all of your pubic hair is crazy. After all, tastes change, don’t they? Perhaps the 70’s cuntfro will come back into style and then all of these girls with a hairless cat between their legs will feel out of place. Diaz then writes this brilliant defense of pubes as a way of providing foliage and mystery to the meat curtains,

“Pubic hair also serves as a pretty draping that makes it a little mysterious to the one who might be courting your sexiness. Pubes keep the goods private, which can entice a lover to come and take a closer look at what you have to offer. Also, let’s be honest: just like every other part of your body, your labia major is not immune to gravity. Consider leaving your vagina fully dressed, ladies. Twenty years from now, you will still want to be presenting it to someone special, and it would be nice to let him or her unwrap it like the gift that it is.”

This is perhaps the most important cultural issue of our day. There are a lot of guys I know who can’t handle any hair on the punani having spent too much time watching the shaved whores in modern porn. Others prefer the full Vanessa Del Rio. Diaz joins fellow 90’s hot person Gwyneth Paltrow in advocating a groomed but fuzzy twat. Maybe the hairy bush is A-OK for the mature ladies, but the younger gals aren’t going Rapunzel until they see it on the young stars of today. When Miley has beaver overflowing from her sheer body suits on stage, that’s when you’ll see millions of teeny boppers eschew the depilatories. And once again the awkward question of ‘Am I getting closer?’ will ring out from young men trying to get some in the backseats of cars across our great land.