Kanye West Takes A Vow Of Silence

Kanye West has decided to take a 6 month break from saying stupid shit. Naturally, he announced that he is going to abstain from ranting like a moron in an epic 30 minute rant. Kanye has become more famous in the last few years for all of the idiotic shit he says than he is for his music. Honestly, I listened to that shitty Yeezus album only once but I’ve heard him talk about how he is the messiah or some other such bullshit all year long.

“This might be the last time y’all hear me talk shit for a long time. Might be another like six months. At least. You’re just gonna have to run back the interviews and shit if you wanna hear some realness! So I’m letting you all know that this is the last Yeezus show, and this is the last time you’ll ever hear me say negative about anyone.”

I’m going to call bullshit on this resolution before it even begins. There is no fucking way that this assclown will keep his mouth shut. Kris Jenner can’t decide to give up being disingenuous and Khloe can’t give up weight-restricting undergarments. Tigers can’t choose to give up their stripes just because it’s New Years. Kanye loves the sound of his own ranting voice more than any man I’ve ever known. His feelings aren’t real until he shares them in some unintelligible manner with his sycophants. It’s great to say you’re going to give up talking shit for six months, it’s another thing to say you’re going to quit your entire reason for being. Can’t be done.