Brody Jenner Thinks Half-Sister Kendall Is a Slutty Genius

Brody Jenner thinks that his high school dropout little half-sister Kendall will break One Direction singer Harry Style’s poor heart. Harry, the One Direction guy with the intentionally dumb hair that a billion pubescent girls around the world imagine deflowering them, has supposedly been dating Kendall Jenner ever since Kris Jenner threatened to kill him and his entire extended family if he didn’t play along. Brody Jenner tells the New York Daily News that,

“I hate to tell you this, but Kendall will be doing the heartbreaking. I’m sure she’s having a fun time with him. She has a very level head, great head on her shoulders. But they are both so young.”

If you read between the lines, and with Brody Jenner, really the subtleties in his communications are the true genius, you’ll note that he realizes his half-sister is a by-product of the Kardashian bloodline where romance is but a ticked off check box in the ‘reality’ production manual. Kendall will end up honking whoever makes her more popular, provides her more story lines, and brings in the most coin to the family coffers. Once Harry’s cost-benefit diminishes, Kendall will take her empty gaze on to the next dude. Harry will be just fine, he’s going to bang a thousand hot women before his boy band days are over. But what about me and the emotionally retarded fan army of the Kardashians who live and die with their scripted personal lives? We will need the Kleenex to get through the breakups.