Tom Cruise Likes to Abandon Things

Tom Cruise had been suing Life & Style magazine for $50 million for claiming he abandoned Suri after his divorce from Katie Holmes. The magazine had based their accusation on the fact that Tom disappeared for some number of months after the divorce, while Tom claimed that reality wasn’t all it seemed and who are we humans anyhow to claim to know the truth. Also, keeping his secrets locked in a shame closet take a lot out of him and sometimes he needs an extended Turkish sauna adventure vacation to center himself. Without prejudice for his completely unwinnable case, Tom Cruise quietly dropped his lawsuit last week and told the magazine he’d see them again when they published pictures of him doing kegels with his unusually handsome male trainer.

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