Miranda Kerr Owns Nice Bras

You can take away a woman’s husband, take away her employer, but you can never take away her nipples. I think Obama said something like that in one his original Hope and Change speeches. He’s right too. Because no matter what Miranda Kerr loses, or, you know, spits away because she can do better, she’ll still have those damn nipples. They’re like that new Coin card that unifies all your credit cards into one. The purchasing power of Miranda Kerr’s little titties is massive. There’s not a city in this world where she can’t book a hotel room, catch a show, and order a steak just by taking off her top. You try unbuttoning your shirt at the Four Seasons and see how far that gets you. You, sir, are no Miranda Kerr.

Here’s Miranda dancing around with Terry Richardson who gay-pretends himself into more quality tail than almost any man on the planet.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson